satan and saddam on a date

because a year with sam has showed me just how warm cats can be and because i do miss donovan a whole bunch (and probably because my friends are right about how i'll wind up as some old lady with zillions of cats at home with me). mostly it's because j and i saw the cutest stray kitty (we've dubbed it mogwai - or moggles for short) near NAFA today. poor thing was deathly scared of any noise or approaching human and it was mewing for its dear life. i ought to be carrying cat food around (to live up to my persona of the crazy cat lady) but i didn't so we settled for a can of tuna from the 7-11 nearby (not the best option i know, it's never good to give cats human food) . we'll head down tomorrow again to try to find moggles since he/she leapt into the bushes nearby when a bunch of people walked by. moggles seems to take to j better though, every time that moggles looked alarmed, he/she would cower behind j.

anyway, my point is, if anyone is thinking of getting a pet from the pet store, don't! there are so many cats/dogs out there that one can adopt, it's just better to give them a shot at things rather than than soul-sapping window of a pet-store chain. i'm serial!

so here you go, cat welfare society's public adoption bulletin board and spca's adoption gallery (links to cats and small animals that are up for adoption are in a tinny print right after the heading "Dogs").

to show my love for my bff the slut otherwise known as paris, here's a shameless post on promoting her sale journal.



BABYBAMBOO!


SAVE PARIS! BUY HER CLOTHES SO THAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO EAT ECONOMICAL RICE EVERYDAY! SERIALLY!

p/s btw eligible blokes, if you'd like to tap that ass, totally post a comment. paris is a slut and is so free, they give her away with happy meals at macdonald's. i kid, but paris is, as anyone can see, very hot and single at the moment. ;) i think paris is going to kill me on saturday or at least sneak 10 peanuts into my bag. :(

well actually i don't have any pearls of wisdom to dispense.

BUT i do need a favour. any of you young'ins who still have copies of your A-levels GP material (question papers, scrap bits of notes passed between you and your classmate, text, chewed up gum), couldja pass 'em in my direction (for free) if you don't mind?

it's not for me (i'm too old for A-levels) but it's to help someone else out, so be a saint for once eh?

danke muchly, i'll buy anyone coffee to return the favour, or ice cream from that place in serene center. ;)

right, i'm offering my mediocre tutoring services to all and sundry. if you'd like a prank monkey to prod you whilst politely informing you that "she don't know" is grammatically incorrect, i'm your bitch.

okay okay in short, hell, since i'm starting this one-year conversion graduate course thingmabob in NUS i might as well earn some pretty polly on the side so yes, i could tutor anyone in english, general paper (i swear i'd help you get an A2 at the very least, honestly), english literature (prolly at secondary school level m'haps, nothing more) and uhm, random irrelevant information you wouldn't need.

YOU KNOW YOU WANT A TUTOR FOR YOUR SCUMMY GRASP OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU DO.

i'm getting a feeling i'll have nary a student nor sight nor hide of one really. best get cracking on making book clutches and random bits instead to earn enough pennies for me birkin. :(

alluring enigma for your clothing needs

&

overheard in singapore: accepting contributions on teh hi-larious


+
that's the post for today. i still <3<3<3 paris because every msn conversation with her involves a funny one-liner.

because the posts are usually friends-only anyway, so all future posts would be le-locked.

go ahead, try your luck as a random stranger and answer this question for the add:
if a woodchop would chop wood, how much wood would a woodchop chop if a woodchop would chop wood?

damn, now the mike patton cover of aphex twin's come to daddy is stuck in my head. that said, the cdc hardware smells like the s/s giles deacon collection no? either way, me likey, jpg still seems like a funny combination with the hermes brand name, but i like where he's taking hermes to (which is still not in the direction of my possession, unless some hermes fairy god mother bestows upon me with hermes every time i put a tooth under my pillow - and i'd willing pull out all my teeth). who needs teeth when you have fabulous bags? you could always just pout your way out (a la kaiser karl & the fug-sen twins).

in the most boring of news, collecting my glasses today. sad but true, there goes the perfect eyesight for the past twenty-three odd years. it's not so bad, it's only 125 (or 175) for each eye, i just need to put them on when i'm staring at the screen in lectures. there's not a hope in hell i'd wear them out, not unless i plan on being a chinese-language teacher. :(

groove armada at zouk tonight.

well okay, they've probably finished their set.

i really need new friends - ones that have more time for me and who'd rank me in their priorities list rather than some random after thought.

people fucking disappoint me all the time, but hey, it's only human nature.

at least now i know how much friends are worth. and the value of that would be, PITIFULLY MINISCULE. thank god there's dior and XLBs, who needs supposed-acquaintances when there's the jeanne bags on display and good chinese dim sum.

afterall, in the end, we're all alone. (OHMYGAWTH!)

and adopt the kitty.

ginger, 2+ months old, unsterilised (but soon to be so), comes with kitty food, toys, portable cage, cushion, shampoo, the whole shizbang.

poor kitty was being abused by some kid in chinatown so my mom picked it up (it was a few weeks old then). the crazy thing is both my mom & i are allergic to kitties (i know i play with sam back in sheffield, but even with sam, i've to take my itch medication).

( grainy pictures of kitty )

i went to my regular hairdresser and was expecting the usual side-swept fringe + layered cut. instead, he gave me a taiwan/jap act-cute hairstyle that's very choppy and with the most bluntly short fringe.

well i don't really mind it, bar the short fringe. :(

gaaaah, this hair cut needs a dye job, otherwise it looks like a 30 year old getai auntie with a coconut husk helmet head. the problem is, i can't even think of a hair colour to get. :(

holy shizzzz, i just realised he probably hacked half of the length of my hair off. not that i'm complaining, i just want a longer fringe, is all.

some days i stumble on my own soul and find myself being inspired. and in the end, for whatever the ethos of tao may be and as abhorrent as beauty may be in the viewpoint of eternity, hell, i'll pick beauty over and over again. because without it, there would be no art, and without art in life, it's an empty shell of monochrome.

this much i realised after selling my soul in pursuit of a degree and some supposed ideal of a "cushy job". but on those rare days when i listen to therapist's cover of here comes your man, when i catch an art exhibition with cw, see the dior couture shows or like today, when i let myself loose in spotlight and chance upon the loveliest fabrics and walk away brimming with ideas in my head, i find that soul i traded away and truly smile. it's that sense of feeling ALIVE and having your batteries charged to the maximum, that, heck, everything's quite possible really and the future isn't some bleak winter of discontent.

these days are getting rarer with the years and so sparse that i forget that i can actually feel this way.

twas a lament.

in other words, those fabric were fucking gorgeous - ruffled silk with embroidered flowers and the sort of thing that would make a perfect flowy dress that's fluid as liquid gold if you could cut like galliano. the setback? i can't sew an article of clothing and those fabric are about $105 per metre.

on hindsight, i did sew the top back in MG for the racial harmony shizmas, and it wasn't half bad. :X

went to orchard yesterday (ALL BY MYSELF!) and was planning on going to topman to find the pair of sneakers for j (because i have a $40 topman voucher and if i don't use it soon, it's going to go to waste). bloody topman had a private event going on (turns out it was closed for the after-party event for their SFF runway show).

so i spent a good 4 hours ambling along orchard. i <3 paragon - i see far nicer bags there than at taka. case in point, i only saw the LV riveting bag at dior in taka. but while milling around paragon, i caught an indonesian tai-tai with her ostrich birkin (it had a patina on it) and her daughter was carrying a silver reissue. whilst walking past the miu miu store, i caught some chick with a suede coffer too. as for me? i test-drove my chanel ultimate soft. the inez closing down sale sucketh much, bcbg's s/s line is pretty tempting and i didn't know there was a miss selfridge in paragon. pah, i really wanted to have some profiteroles at bakerzinn, but figured it might be kinda awkward to sit at a table for one and have my profiteroles. meh.

went to dior and zomg, they have the cruise collection gaucho clutch in black (and pink, other than the fug purple that was on display). at $2200, i'm better off pining for my hermes blue-roi lizard bearn. :(

oh i finally went to the main LV branch (in taka) and saw the dentelle. chewingballs is right, the dentelle line looks better in photos than in real life. the gold lace while more "complementary", still looks to chi-chi blingy for me. the silver one was a no go. they have a coeur in store, FYI, but it's the multi-colour, so i don't know who in their right frame of mind would buy it. the jasmin epis are o-kay. went to try out the mini-lin (finally) but HATE the feel of the canvas, it's nasty and cheap feeling.

got lukewarm service at chanel (MEH, even though i was carrying ulti-softy!) and i'm disgustingly tempted by those paris-biarritz bags. DISGUSTINGLY tempted. there was this hokkien tai tai there, very getai-esque and storming around the boutique asking to see this bag and that bag and exclaiming real loudly "no no i don't want the classic bags! i don't carry them anymore!" i saw the poor SAs show her the paris b bags, the cotton club and even the outdoor ligne. at this point, i'd like to just say that the new cambon in beige (with beige patent CCs) are fug as hell and nobody should consider buying it. ever.

well all i did was have donuts (hell, i'll settle for any donuts even if they aren't from krispy kreme or dunkin' donuts) and contemplate the level of awkwardness if i were to get a table of one at crystal jade for XLBs. DAMN! I REALLY WAS ONE ESCALATOR CLOSE TO JUST ORDERING MY XLBs and enjoying them by my lonesome self (pathetic).

went to topman (finally) at 8pm, recognised someone from runwaycity but i'm not one for going "OMG HIIII!" topman, as it turns out, has a different stock (for their shoes/sneakers) as compared to the UK. so i'm shot to bits and the trip up to topshop was worse - tonnes of teeny boppers wandering about and bumping into me and giving me a massive heart attack because was carrying ulti-softy and the ulti-softy is called that for a good reason. retreated to toilets but was bombarded by EVIL HEAVY AMERICAN ACCENTS from some international college chicks. it's like listening to nails scratching on a chalkboard, honest to goodness. WHY? THE WHOLE WORLD DOESN'T NEED TO HEAR YOUR AMERICAN ACCENT FROM A THOUSAND METRES AWAY, mmmkay.

am too dirt poor to continue buying my diorsnow items so am trying out el-cheapo ZA white, we'll see how it goes. paris, i'll tell you if it works so you can tell your mom. all i can say is, the diorsnow line smells heaps better than the ZA line.

i want more of those taiwanese sausage thingmabob from bugis village. :(

chanel: saw the paris b bags, the perforated bags (ugh), the python crochet bag in a burgandy colour (!!!!! it looks much much much better than the blingy gold version) and a python very small coco-cabas-esque bag in white, medallion totes, gst, cotton club (and the older cambon line), classic flaps in black and beige, j12s, the new s/s accessories (the lock & key necklaces that steph has, the baby animals line) and i can't remember much else. no chanel pearls AT ALL (shocking!) nor the s/s elegance bangles (which chewingballs is looking for. strange, considering i saw them a month ago in the chanel in amsterdam). all in all, nothing spectacular, the chanel in amsterdam has a far more impressive collection (well at least the stock there makes me happier). the chanel here just made me sigh. :(

dior: the main branch had the limited edition saddles (USA, RUSSIA, MOROCCO and another which i can't remember), the cruise collection gauchos, my dior, woven white lady dior (and generally the lady dior lines), dior lovely, detective (in brown and white only. the white looks fug in real life. meh.), cruise collection gaucho clutch (but in purple. GODDAMNIT TO HELL! i should have just bought the red one when i saw it at harrods!), trotter romantiques (including the newer range with the white/grey colour), some watches (including the la d dior i want.), fabulous clothes from the s/s 07 collection (MMMMMMMMM!!!!! i always thought the stiff suits/jackets in s/s 07 was deliciously structured, but seems like everyone hated it. but anyway, the critics should head down to the boutique and have a look because it looks about a million times better in real life), some accessories - but none of the mini dolly or anything i was hoping to get in the accessories line. PAH! the branch in dfs has the st germain bags too (in python and one in PURPLE python, pretty luxe but for the gigantor "CD" plate since it's the st. germain line), diorissimo line is there too. all in all, nothing made me want to buy anything terribly, so meh. oh both boutiques had the new perforated lady dior east/west in pink (none of the gorgeous black ones i saw at the dior in london). i walked out of two diors not wanting anything, this is surely an omen.

louis vuitton: the one at taka was closed for a private event so we went to the one at dfs, nothing much, saw the new riveting line, still debating about the mini lin speeedy 30, saw the pomme epi pochette, but no coeur (yeah if they did have it, i'd flip and whip out the card immediately), nothing particularly exciting, the new vanilla epi wasn't spectacular in all honesty and i didn't see a single trace of the dentelles. didn't ask as i really don't need an LV and i think my mom might just disown me if i had a monogram LV (she hates it to bits).

hermes: only went to the dfs branch, going to the main branch at liat towers would probably leave me shell shocked, so a small dose of it through the dfs branch would be just right for me. they have the vert anis lizard bearn, the black croc bearn and the BLUE ROI LIZARD BEARN - MY DREAM BEARN (other than the fuschia croc with diamonds bearn, of course)! GAH! $4200. i told my mom later about the wallet and she gave a "hrrrmmppph. that would give you a motivation to work hard and graduate." in other words - "FAT LOAD OF CHANCE WE'RE GOING TO BUY YOU THAT FOR YOU BIRTHDAY IN LESS THAN 2 MONTHS' TIME. YOU'VE ALREADY BLOWN YOUR LAST CHANCE ON THE REISSUE SO SUCK IT!" :( the hippo and cow keyrings were so cute too. why is the world against me? that's it, i'm going to devise a plan to get that blue roi lizard bearn even if it means having to peddle crack to 14 year old kids.

so at the end of the day, all i want is that hermes bearn. that's it. well unless i discover a wad of spare cash, then i'd want a chanel paris biarritz bag too (disgusting but true, i like them). and someone remind me to NOT wear that white doilly dress of mine unless i lose 30kgs and quit looking like a giant steamed bao in that dress.

i'm feeling lethargic and i don't want to head out to meet the girls for dinner at 7pm. not when i don't know how to get to coronation from where i am at currently. i just want to sulk at home and think about my bearn and continue with my festering hatred for everyone.

meh. nobody really gives a damn's worth anyway.

no seriously, the world can go fuck themselves. and i honestly hope to god that everyone gets impaled to death by a giant stick.

i wiki-ed it.

the soup is either a meat gelatin mix or a frozen soup cube! i can't remember what we betted on though, but goddamn i want me some XLBs right about now.

i just need to figure out which is the nearest crystal jade serving XLB and if it would be really freaky to just go into crystal jade and ask for a table for one and order XLB and have it by myself.

i'm so miserable. someone please bring me out. my mom doesn't have time for me and neither does paris. i'm unwanted. *more sad puppy-eyed look*

this is the point where i go, "ye gods, i do really like LV!"

dentelle fersen


dentelle kirsten


dentelle speedy 30


dentelle long wallet


gaaaahh, i want that speedy - it's the perfect size and i'm a sucker for lace (not so much the lv monogram though). should i get the speedy and blow all hopes of dior or chanel into smithereens? should i stop fantasizing about other bags and get back on course with my dreams of an hermes jpg birkin?! should i venture out and scavange for a bit of food before i die from hunger?

someone tell me i shouldn't buy that lv dentelle speedy. :(

there i was, cursing myself for not checking if i had accumulated enough airmiles to upgrade myself to business class and wishing that bill hicks joke about kids helping themselves to the emergency exit door were a thing of reality. goddamn kids, particularly the ones which wind up next to you and pokes you in the arm, sides, thighs every few seconds with some crippling child disease known as FIDGETNSQUIRM.

nearly missed my connection in dubai.

but i guess there must be a god, because on the connecting flight from dubai to home, i was unceremoniously bumped to business class. i was prattling on my cellphone, being an obnoxious traveller by having an extended phone conversation for all to hear and i could feel the business class crowd thinking, "did they really have to pull one of those economy class rodents into our midst?" yessir! i've not been on business class since i was thirteen, and being in it yesterday, i'd gladly take kids screaming their heads off and the overweight man who inevitably violates your personal space (and olfactory system). lady with giant rock of a diamond ring next to me eyeballed me and left me in no doubt that my h&m threads were *coughs* "student-friendly". middle aged man in seat across aisle peered at me from time to time, i guess he's never seen an economy class person before. must have been a sight. in my defence, i was carrying my dior vintage flowers frame bag with me, it couldn't have been that shabby, albeit i did lug around a gigantor backpack a la dysentry-ridden backpacker, and i did blab on the phone and announced for one an all that i thought that being in business class was... AWKWARD. and it rightly was, WHY ARE PEOPLE PAYING GOOD MONEY FOR BETTER CHINA TO EAT THE SAME SHITTY AIRPLANE FOOD AND SOME PURPORTED ADDED AIR OF SUPERIORITY TO THE IN-FLIGHT ATTENDANT? oh so there was the bottle of water at ever seat, some very chi-chi little orchid flower adorning my tray of food (i got real cutlery! WHAT A LUXURY TO NOT HAVE MY PLASTIC KNIFE SNAP IN MY HANDS ON CUTTING THE MEAT!) and yes there were socks and a nice little cosmetics bag of toiletries. bar the bonus of it being children-free, business class isn't what it's made out to be. it's just an inflated seat at the front end of the plane. oh and i didn't know how to pull my screen up from my arm-rest, and because the seats recline more in business class, i sorta ripped out the front pocket (where the magazines).

and that is why i'm an economy class rat.

in other news, i'm back here, people need to start giving me a ring or text on my cellphone, although i'm still jet-lagged (my eternal excuse for sleeping at 4am and waking up well past noon and being hideously late for any appointments).

auntie joo, i've got your barry m, gimme a ring on my cell (same number as before), because i tried to ring you yesterday but your cellphone was off (or maybe you've changed your number).

it's supposed to be fashion fest or week or something like that, but WHO THE HELL IS SHOWING? not particularly keen on it, it's the same old same old every year, local designers, graduating art school kids and one z-grade "overseas/international" designer. unless dior stages their shows here too, i'm just going to sit here in my air-conditioned comfort and whine miserably about the whole affair (or lack thereof).

oh shit, it's 4.30pm, i think paris might message me soon and i'm halfway through waxing my legs and my morning coffee. the stray kitten my parents adopted hates me (all it ever wants to do is bite me, scratch me or snarl at me), it looks like a cross between an alien and mr. bigglesworth; which makes me miss sam a whole lot.

either the english have gotten to my tastebuds or flying has taken its toll on my sense of taste, but why can't they serve better tea on board? it's the same pissy watery generic tea in every damn class on board. is an earl grey even beyond business class? do i have to chalk up enough air miles to go on first class before i discover that they probably serve a variety of teas there?

oh and i miss the english papers too. :( i've become one of those overbearing assholes who live for a short period abroad and come home bitching about every damn local thing. ye gods, this can't be true!

and all i meant to say in this post was that people should really contact me now, i'm much to lethargic to reply to emails, but catch me in person and i'll be more than willing to prattle on.

//

not meeting paris tonight, she's been up for more than 24 hours and i'm still somewhat groggy. i'm dying to head to dfs & taka, but (a) i need my mom's card damnit! i want my 20% off at dfs (b) i hate having to brave it out at the boutiques alone. i don't know if i'll even have the courage to walk into hermes, as it is, i'm all shifty-eyed and fidgety when i walk into dior. which reminds me, i need to go down to my mom's office tomorrow since some of my bags are there (HELLO ULTI SOFTY!!).

someone go with me to dior, chanel and hermes pleassseeee? PARISSSSSS???! *sad puppy-eyed look*

i've got tonnes to do tomorrow, get my clothes altered + re-dyed (so no to mustard yellow children!), collect my bags, amass things to send out to a million people, muster enough energy & courage to head down to orchard road and then to forum to fix an appointment for a pedicure on wednesday m'haps, when paris gets her spa treatment. which means, i should get my brows threaded tomorrow instead. this is ridiculous. i feel like i'm an ageing 50 year old in orchard road with its bevvy of teenage kids in sloppy school uniforms, coloured hair and oozing some pseudo-cool factor. i feel so old and i'm only 23 (to be). :(

to top it all off, i have NO IDEA how to get from the place i'm at currently to civilisation in general. my parents really ought to stop moving as frequently as the nomads do. i'm tempted to cab around but i've just been told i've got X amount of money per week for the 3 weeks i have back here, and so this can only mean, i'm EL BROKE-O.

will be back on sunday. for anyone who needs to get a hold of me, i'll be pretending to be busy (well no, i've got so much time, i could watch paint dry for a week, plus my insolvency essay isn't looking too much of a bitch, so a week on it would suffice, that gives me two weeks of unadulterated freedom, HUZZAH!) well back to my point, which is, if anyone needs to contact me, just ring or text me on my cellphone. texting is good because i hate answering calls (unless you're paris or my mom) my number hasn't changed since time immemorial, so there, if you've lost it, too bloody bad then.

rrrrrr, i need to head down to dior at taka and dfs (in general) right now! NOW!

oh and i need to figure out what to eat for my first meal - this is ridiculous.

in other news, i'm dreading packing my luggage, it doesn't bode well. and i need to figure out if it's better for me to use the god awful broken trolley bag to haul all my purses with me inflight or to get a new one from town. but first, meadowhall - some barry M as requested by auntie joo and i need to get some M&S for dinner, plus check out miss selfridge and river island. plus shoesss, goddamn i need to either find my pair of irregular choices flats which i can't remember if it's here with me or in singapore, or some other pair of ballet flats to go with my new paper doilly/lace tablemat dress from h&m. oh shit, and GOLD BY GILES DEACON AT NEW LOOK!


gah, this is working against hermes plan. :(

the boiler opted to die right when a cold snap decides to hit britain. BRILLIANT STUFF!

i've got an internet crime essay due in 18 hours' time so sleep is a luxury i can ill afford right now.

cold, sleep deprivation and an essay to write (HOW DOES ONE EXPLAIN THE INTERNET AND ITS FACILITATION OF CRIME IN 500 WORDS?), i'm just about ready to throw in the towel and stick my head into the soil and snow in the backyard.

cursed final semester. oh, sod it, i'm going to go look at my bordeaux reissue to give myself some boost of sorts.

//

urgggghghghghg. just one last question and i'm done. well not quite. i need to edit and trim it down so that i can do an introduction to tie up all three questions together to show off just now fancy schmanzy i am to be able to see the big picture. YEAH RIGHT!

thank god for depeche mode.

oh i'm still freezing, in case anyone is wondering.

//

thank god, i'm finally done. it's hailing and i hope to god British Gas can fix the boiler.

i think i deserve some chanel pearls just for finishing this cursed internet crime assignment. although chanel pearls are just obscenely pricey - for faux pearls. meh. MUST NOT WASTE MONEY. MUST CONSERVE EVERY GODDAMN PENCE FOR HERMES JPG BIRKIN. FAT LOAD OF HOPE THAT IS!

coffee has replaced hunger, and all other functions, though processes and the like. i'm now a fidgety fatty on a bad caffeine trip.

here

it's already in stores, but since it's not limited edition, i guess i'll take a gander down to meadowhall on wednesday for a trawl through the racks. that said, MUST. STOP. SPENDING.

i must focus all my resources on hermes. i must, i must.

//

thank god for tool. fucktard borat II housemate is blaring borat music and trust me, imagine some hairy chap who's getting a root canal without painkillers and having his throat slowly slit apart while at it, that's how it sounds like. incessant, relentless, unyielding whine, only it's a drone too.

if i hear any more shit for tits music blaring from his room again, i'm using the subwoofer and playing meshuggah.

"WERE YOU SOME USELESS DRIBBLE OF A PRE-EJACULATE FROM YOUR DAD'S KNOB END THAT YOU MOM ACTUALLY SAT ON THUS FORMING YOU, YOU PIECE OF EFFEMINATE, WHINY HALFWIT WITH A PERPETUAL SMOG OF STENCH?!"

dear bearded terrorist folk,

please, just do a suicide-bomber on the ride borat II housemate will be on when he travels back to his country this easter. i'm sure there'd be seventy-two virgins in heaven waiting for you for the good deed you've done us all.

OKAY. HE ASKED FOR IT. HE FUCKING KARAOKED TO THE SONG. IT'S TIME TO SUMMON THE SUBWOOFER AND MESHUGGAH.